Women and Body Image

N89SF28DCSEV As women, we are hypercritical of our bodies. I have always admired bigger women who dress well and exude confidence. I frequently buy things too big because I see myself as bigger than I am.

I'm not saying that men never have self image problems. But women are more likely to accept men the way they are than the other way around. Men are very visual and we are subjected daily to skinny models with large, firm breasts parading around on our tv's, in the movies, in magazines, on the internet.

Sometimes when I read about people with REAL problems - health issues, deformities, horrible illness, poverty - I berate myself for pinning so much on my being too fat or too old or too short or just not good enough.

It is with all that in mind that my boyfriend and I created www.lingeroo.com. It is a site where we sell lingerie aimed at women like me. Whose breasts don't hold themselves up anymore. Whose skin isn't tight anymore. Who still want to feel desirable and sexy. I actually try on the stuff we sell and if my breasts fall out the sides, I'm going to tell you not to buy that unless you are still firm or have bought new ones. We have a huge selection of plus sizes. I wanted to create a place where I could talk directly to other women about our issues as we age. I don't feel like I have to turn in my credentials as a sexy, desirable woman just because I'm over 50.

My boyfriend is 11 years younger than I am. No, I'm not a "cougar". My relationships have always been with younger men. But this was the first time I ever agonized over whether he might be missing something in having me instead of a younger woman. I know that he loves the person I am inside - but this is the first time I have ever been aware that I am getting older and it really sucks. So I wear lingerie - I pick things that emphasize that I am still shapely and cover my less than perfect thighs. I wear sexy costumes when we go to parties and I wear sexy stuff just for him. How can he feel that he is missing anything if he has a woman who goes to the trouble of looking sexy just for him?

I had a hysterectomy a week and a half ago and I'm looking forward to life without periods. I have bioidentical hormones coursing through my body so my sex drive and response are probably better than they've ever been.

Life is good.

Menopause and Robotic Hysterectomies

From my recent experience which I'd like to share, it's important that we, as women, take charge of our health.

We become used to men making jokes about premenstrual and menopausal women. And with all the confusing information around regarding hormone replacement and what the aging process should be like for women, it's hard to know what to do when you reach that stage of your life. The timing and the symptoms ary so greatly that it's hard to imagine lumping us all into one category. But we all go through the hormonal changes that are our destiny. The symptoms may vary some, but we all deal with the lack of hormones, the changes to our bodies, the lack of sleep.

I’d like to share my experience. Two years ago, I finally stopped having periods. I was 56. During that time, I never slept all night due to hot flashes, I experienced vaginal dryness, my skin started to lose it’s tautness , I was cranky and emotional – I actually could see myself aging. My boyfriend was at the doctor’s office and saw an article in a magazine about bioidenticals and he thought I should look into it. After reading one of Suzanne Sommers’ books about the subject, I went online and found that there was a place here in Lansing that provided bioidentical hormone replacement.

I met with the doctor and he felt that it would improve my quality of life. So he ordered blood work to check my hormone levels. Before I could even see him, I had to have a current Pap test and mammogram. When he had the results, he called me and asked if I’d had a hysterectomy. The levels were so low, he thought I actually had no ovaries. I almost cried in relief when I found out there really was a physical reason for why I was feeling the way I was. About 5 days after my first injection (estradiol and testosterone pellets are implanted in your hip about every five months), I felt like myself again. I slept well, my sex life became better than ever, my skin looked better. Everything was good.

The only down side was that, because I still had my uterus, I had to take progesterone for 10 days each month and then have a “light period” for a few days. Except that I had more bleeding than that. We increased the progesterone. The bleeding continued. My hormone doctor suggested that I get an ultrasound and see what was going on. So I did that. My doctor said that I probably should have a hysterectomy and that I needed to see an ob/gyn for that. The first ob/gyn I saw (a male doctor who had just left the air force) said that really I wasn’t in menopause because I hadn’t gone without periods for a year and he didn’t know who had told me I needed a hysterectomy. That he would probably just “regulate my hormones” – like I hadn’t been doing that for almost a year. I went home in tears.

Then I got mad and called the doctor’s office. I asked to see someone else in the office so they got me an appointment with a female doctor. When she looked at the results of my ultrasound, she suggested that we do an ablation. It appeared that I had a few fibroid tumors, but nothing that bad. She said most people don’t have any bleeding problems after an ablation. It’s a very quick procedure where they burn the inside of the uterus. She said if that didn’t work, she’d do a hysterectomy.

After the ablation, the bleeding got worse. I was bleeding or spotting almost all of the time. I called the doctor’s office and told them that it was unacceptable. They made an appointment for me with the doctor and promised that it would be a pre op appointment.

This past Tuesday I had my hysterectomy. It was done robotically with a laparoscopy, which means no big incision in my abdomen. When the doctor came to see me in the morning, she said she had never robotically taken out a uterus so large and malformed from all the small fibroid tumors and adhesions. My left ovary (where I’d had pain every month) was literally stuck to my intestines. She said I lost a lot more blood than most people in that procedure because of all the tumors she'd had to deal with. And no wonder the ablation didn’t work . She assured me I’d feel MUCH better after I heal from the surgery. And that it was a good thing we made the decision to do the hysterectomy.

It’s only been really a day and a half since the surgery and I’m still swollen and a bit uncomfortable - still taking vicodin and motrin and laying down. But I wanted to share my story because we HAVE TO TAKE CHARGE OF OUR CARE. There was no way until my doctor went inside my abdomen for her to tell what a mess it was down there. My feeling that something was not right was correct. You have to insist that they take you seriously and don’t just try to fix everything with more pills. They can’t just lump us into pre and post menopausal women. We live longer than women in the old days and we are prone to cancers in our ovaries, uteruses and endometriums. We get endometrial tissue growing on the outside and it can cause unnecessary bleeding and discomfort.

Life after menopause can and should be better than ever. I have been told that I look much younger than I am. And I see no reason to start getting old because my body stopped making hormones. I moisturize daily, exercize, eat properly, have lots of sex, flirt, laugh - and I intend to keep doing all of those things.

If you are starting to lose sleep because of hot flashes - even if you haven't stopped entirely having periods - insist on blood tests to check your hormone levels. Check into bio-identicals in your area. There are several different types - from creams to the implants that I get. Don't let fear of HRT keep you from being all you can be.